EAST TEXAS HOG DOGGERS FORUM

I was speaking to my grandpa yesterday and he let me in on another one of his interesting tell tale signs of weather prediction. I am wanting to see if this one holds true.

"If it thunders in Febuary, it will be a wet/cold March"

It was thundering here awhile ago.

Anybody got any saying like this that have been passed down?


Last week MrsRockinP, mentioned something about picking a fight with an old man, is dumb cause he will just shoot you. I hear that alot from Grandpa, "I am too old and tired too fight, I would just have to shoot somebody" I tend to believe it.

i always heard when it was raining, if cattle were standing under trees that it wouldnt last long , but if they were out grazzing then it was gonna set in an rain. my granddad used to say a lot of things , but i was too smart to listen to him when i was younger, man did i turn out to b a dumb a$$. just remember an old man dont get old by chance

The way I have always heard it is "IF it thunders in February it will freeze in March." Larry Marbel was talking about this saying the other day on 680 KKYX.

If you see white cow birds congregate by water it is going to rain...

If a red oak tree will show you the bottom side of its leaves it is going to rain....

Spring is never here till the pecan trees bud out....

I am sure I can think of some others

woke up this morning seen white cow birds around the pound, and guess what................. it's raining  ;D

No matter what, if the mesquites ain't buddin' it ain't done freezin'.
Never do anything standing if you can do it sitting and never do it sitting if you can do it laying down.
Dammit boy, at least act like you've got some sense.
You don't have to know much, just make them believe you do.
One from my grandad that was born, worked, and died in Kent county, it ain't raining till it's actually raining. (those familiar with Kent county know how dry it is.) ;D
 

if you expect a kick in the nuts and you get a slap in the face its a victory

It's better to be quite and thought a fool, than to speak up and be known a fool!

Never be so smart your to stupid to lesson!

Lost as last years easter egg!

My dad always told me what i want and what i get are two diffrent to diffretn things so  s""t in one hand and want in the other and see wich one fills up first....any body else ever get that one? also my grand dady always said if most the cows were layin down bad weather was comin.

X2 on KKYX.  That is a great station. Anytime I am down there that is definately on. 

"If you cant be good, be good at it"

if ye play in the fire you'll wet the bed !


         i was grown and telling my own kids that when i suddenly realized it couldnt be true , thats just what they tell kids to keep'em from playing in the fire lmao .

How about this one?

"You better stop that crying before I give you something to cry about"?

 

Grandpa was was trying to remember what he Grandpa told him about different bugs to watch for, for seasonal weather too, I sure wish he could remember that, as that one will be one to write down and keep up with for planning hunting trips.

I could write a book of semi crude sayings that are old  ;D

uglier than sheep chit in shallow water

raining like a cow pissn on a flat rock

you don't know chit from green brush

useless as tits on a boar hog

no sense in putting lipstick on that pig

looks like you traded legs with a jay bird and lost your ass in the deal

hole in the butts and elbows

that kid should have taken anatomy and geology so he could tell his ass from a hole in the ground

I have alot more .....

i have heard the one about  pecans (natives) and mequite beans , and thunder in feb. had  one older lady tell me it wont frost if you see sissor tails i knowthat ones wrong cause last of last year and i saw mesquites get bit also

 theres one  about a wooly worm that i caint remember

and my old time favorite is
  deleted by me :angel:
     Dexter
i hope i dont offend anyone ;D

My Grandad used to always say something or someone was "Luckier than a two-peckered billygoat."

I have always heard a correlation between cattle standing / laying and fish biting.  A couple years back I read an article somewhere that explained how there may be some truth because of barometric pressure differences. 

i believe that one if the cows are laying the fish wont be biting

My papaw would say Dag-Nabbit or Changa-Langa Son those were his replacement swear words also used to tell me to cut a switch and whip myself cuz he's getting too old and my personal favorite
IF Everybody liked the same thing as me your mawmaw would be one sore lady!  >:D

My dad would tell me he was fixing to paint my back porch red when I was due for a whoopin
Also "boy, I'm hankerin for a spankerin" , "your cruising for a bruising " I hated that one

Where I grew up in PA, they used to have a lot of spring houses. The old time farmers would look for salamanders living in their springs. If there were salamanders, then the water was good to drink.

I have seen the corelation between cattle and wildlife for a good while, they may not be wild but I believe they instinctively feed and rest on a very similar pattern to most big game, deer and hogs.  Could be wrong but it has been my experience they are pretty similar.

"I have worse scratches than that on my eyeball"

"you better hope you face does not freeze like that"


Keep them coming, I sure would like to know more about the insects, bugs, wildlife and how to read the signs that our elders relied on before satelite and weather men!

I live 100yrds from Papaw, he will be 88 in March. He was at the doctor a couple of months ago getting examined and after the doctor left the nurse came in and said well Mr. Simmons, you are in great shape, but we are going to have to take your driver's licence away from you! He jumped up and started putting his cloth's back on in a big hurry, she looked over at him and asked him"where you going Mr. Simmons" he replied, "IM GOING TO FIND ME A NEW DOCTOR" LOL

Papaw's sayins:
1) Got take a 1/2 a Viagra a day to keep from "PN" in my boot!
2) Did you wake up this morning and have to go in the next room to scatch your head?(Hang over)
3) Watch that old cow, she gone make a steer out of ya!
4) I see ya got a "HANKY PANKY" over there!(new girlfriend)

Thats just a start!

When a cow or hog would get after me, my Dad would say, Don't run from 'em you'll make a fool out of 'em.
When someone wanted him to breed one of his gyps or mares to their stud he didn't like, he would tell them, I just as soon have 'em snake bit.
Shine like a diamond in a goats a$$

You look like fourty miles of bad road

Even a blind hog finds a acorn every now and then....

Does a bear chit in the woods?

When you paint something old... Give it a five gallon overhaul

A rebuttal to your, "I have worse scratches that that on my eyeball"....How about "You ain't going to die it's to far from your heart...lol

I was always told that when turtles cross the road the weather is going to turning bad.  Not sure if that is true or not but we have been having a lot of turtles crossing and skunks committing suicide in the highways.

my personal favorite....its better to s!@t a fart than it is to fart a s!@t

A fast horse don't run long.
Run it like you see it
instead of saying does a bear S**t in the woods I use to hear, Is a 40 pound robin a big bird?

I have also heard that if cattle are grazing, the fish are biting but i have proven that wrong several times over  ;D

Daddies favorite is " if you arent gonna use your head you might as well have two a$$e$"

Don't let your alligator mouth write a check your hummingbird @ss can't cash.

grandpas old line when i was little  "   A farting horse never tires " , , " if the dogwood tress are blooming , the fish are bitting "

"if your gonna be dumb you better be tough" 

Working on a farm as a kid there was a few sayings that stuck and I still use them today.

A few of my favorites:
Questioning a grown up during work usually got us " Stop worrying  about the mule and just load the dang waggon".  :-\  We didnt use mules or waggons.

Complaining about a tough job to my papaw usually got you " I dont want to hear about the labor pains, just show me the baby!" My son hates that one. >:D

When injured on the farm before quiting time: "I've had worse on my lip and kept one whistling!" It didnt matter if you had just severed a limb in a tractor implement either!

Equipment break down: " That dog aint huntn today"
A few more:
Screamed "Boy I will slap you to the back side of nowhere!" My mother.
Usually said through clinched teeth like Clint Eastwood. "Boy...... you better smile".lol  My Dad
"You cant make a silk purse out of a sows ear." Mamaw. Took me almost 20 years to figure that one out! lol
"Nuttier than a squirrel turd". Papaw

Lets see.....

For weather I have heard and beleive these to be true for the most part.

If it thunders in Feb.s it will freeze in march.
If the sun sets behind a cloud bank on wensday it will rain before saturday.
When turtles start moving expect a decent rain event.

Some sayings that my Granpa allways uses.

"A chicken aint nothing but a big bird"  Used.... meaning have confidence in your self, you are facing challenge of some kind, So just do it and dont be intimidated because you know you can do it.  Its what I will be saying before I take my State Paramedic test.  "Chicken ain't nothing but a big bird" ;D

"Its all over but the shouting"  Kind of like its all over but the celebration when you get something big accomplished.

"He's looking for yesterday"  You Can't find yesterday because it is gone. Wasting time or even doing something ignorant.

"Not smart enough to pour pis out of a boot."

"If he had any brains he'd take em out and play with em'"

Waylon

 my uncle joe use to say when we whould complain about something hurting "you want me to cut it off''

When referring to something or someone that is stout...built like a brick chit house

talking about someone crazy....crazy as a chit house rat

horses that won't settle down are "full of pi$$ and vinegar"

The owner of a ranch that I used to work on always would look at the fireant mounds and if there was a lip on the opening that it was going to be a cold winter. There was also something that would look different on a mound if it was going to be a wet spring, but unfortunately I can't remember what it was.
 
Daddy always would call us a "stand in the middle of the road and bawl for buttermilk baby" if we was fussin for no reason.

"Don't let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird azz"

if the boys were gettin to rowdy, he would tell them that he was "gonna knock their d**k in the dirt"

"Slicker than greased goose sh*t on a doorknob"

"If the cows is layin then the fish ain't bitin"

Thats all I can think of now, but if I think of more I will post them.

Is a pigs a$$ pork

When someone is confused, lost, frantic.....Grandpa would say they don't know weather they are coming or going.

Slicker than greazed owl shoot

Nastier than three foot up a bulls ____

Waylon

Called wd40 skeeter pee

Called PVC glue gorilla snot

when hungry you might "eat the ass out of a skunk"

how many people have heard their grandparents referred under wear as "step in's" or when something tastes good it is "larapin" my moms parents grew up real poor in southern Alabama and had alot of funny sayings like this

A few from Australia...

from my father  'Every dog bites, every horse kicks and every gun is loaded'  generally about being aware that things can go wrong.
                      'He can who thinks he can.'

from my mother  'If you would avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing...'

Dad once heard a dog fight rolling down the main street of our town. He was a saddler and bushman and had some trouble fitting into the more proper aspects of society. The dog fight was a big one a blue heeler and an Eng bully, proper to the end scrap. I was standing at the front door of the saddlery watching the dogs rolling towards us and the matrons of the town grabbing children out of the way. There was lots of staring and shocked looks but no action. As I stood there, Dad brushed past me carrying a cattle flogger, a piece of heavy cane with redhide leather stitched around it and ending in two long flaps of  leather.
At that moment the dogs rolled passed the front of the saddlery and Dad stepped into the middle of them belting the crap out of both dogs until they let go and ran in opposite directions. I can clearly remember the shocked and appalled looks on all the ladies. Dad still hadn't said anything, he just walked back in the door. As he walked passed me he said...

'There's two types of people in the world Ned, those that can stop a dog fight and those that can't...'

  Thunder before 7 rain before 11

  Red skys at night sailors delight  red skys in the morning sailors take warning

 

does a one leggerd duck swim in a circle, does a rooster eat with his pecker

Ok hubby and I been thinking about all the great sayings that we heard as we were growing up so here we go....


Let sleeping dogs lye...I heard that one a lot when I would go messing with my brother or sister.

If you can't run with the big dogs stay under the porch.

I use to tell my kids when they were acting up that I was going to jerk the arms off and slap them with it.

My mom always told us kids that she was going to kill us and then swear to the good lord that we dies of natural causes...We were wild kids...lol

I remember gettin in trouble and my mom telling me"I am going to knock your teeth down your throat" hahah

We would be working with papa and I wouldnt have my pocket knife, I would ask him if he did and he would always say" I got my pants on dont I"

DubbleRDawgs - Let sleeping dogs lye.

That's what everyone is doing with the "Hounds vs Cur" thread right now! lol

"Well butter my arse and call me a biscuit"! Im having fun reading this thread!
It sure has me reminiscing in my youth and missing loved ones that have passed on from this world.

Now put some "giddy up" in "your get along" and post some more people.  :D

"Do you want a whoopn?" Like I was gonna say "ya please I like whoopings"

Just remembered another one,  " if you swing with monkeys you'll hang from trees and you lay with dogs you'll get up with fleas" this one was in reference to who you pick to be friends with, from my mom.

Faster then turkey crap through a tin horn, still trying to figure this one out  ???

 Slicker than snot on a door knob

Faster than greased owl $$it

 Ugly as a mud fence
Pretty as a speckled pup
 Wilder than a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs

Ok...We keep reading and thinking of new ones.....

My nanny use to say the kids down the block were "wilder than a march hare", of course those kids were my cousins.

Another one was, "Meaner than a junk yard dog."

I'll keep thinking of some more.  Gosh I am really feeling old...LOL

Robin

This thread has me hankering for reruns of the Beverly Hillbilly's and Uncle Jed's sayings he used on that show...ROTFLMFBO

Robin

Yall keep them a coming, I am very much enjoying some I haven't heard in ages and others are new, and Good!

When something is expensive it is "higher than a giraffe's a$$?

When someone is tight "they can shove coal up their a$$ and chit out a diamond"

On days like today it is "colder than a well diggers a$$"

Those are good ones Matt.  My grandpa always says "he's tighter than bark on a tree"

And "Colder than a well diggers a$$ in Montana".....I think I felt this way today.

My grandpa always told me whenever the owls started hootin, the deer would get up and start moving.
I've found that to always be pretty true. Anyone else ever heard that?

Sorry folks. They just keep coming to me.

Its so dry the trees are whistling for the dogs. An old boss from West Texas

She is so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her! Aunt Margret

After a hard days playing in the woods as a kid..... Child! look at your face! You look like you've been sucking on an old sow!!! Mom

It's drier than a popcorn fart....

When you eat too much or something you shouldn't have you might "chit like a pet coon"  or "chit like a goose"

When someone has freckles they "tanned through a screen door"

Wild as a March hare

I am really just hitting my stride here folks I got a lot more haha...

A few more from Oz.

Handy as a screen door on a submarine.

Flash as a rat with a gold tooth.   (Flash means showy...)

Slippery as cat chit on a lino (linoleum) floor.

handy as a pocket on a shirt.

Hungry as a woodpecker in a steel mill.

She's got a head on her like a basterd rat.

Getting about like a half open pocket knife...(man with a bad back).

When asked "How are you today?" I've heard "Finer than frog hair."

Hotter than 2 rats screwing in a wool sock.

When something is expensive, it's "Higher than chicken teeth."

My ol Papa Dad had one for a hefty girl....."Her azz is wide enough for a 3rd leg."

The most famous saying in history, used by people who trade, hunt, train, show or work with animals.

          He ain't never done that before.

Amen!

thats funny

Rare as hens teeth....

If she was hauling a$$ it would take two loads....

If you moved any slower you would be going backwards....

When you are impatient you "wait like one dog waits on another"

When you are hungry "my stomach thinks my throats cut"

I heard an old barber say one time when refering to a march they did in Vietnam that he was so tired and drawn down that "if I would have stood up straight I would have fell through my a$$ hole"

This thread cuased me to have this song stuck in my head...

 

<font size='+2'>Corb Lund - Always Keep An Edge On Your Knife lyrics</font>

never put your hat on the bed, son, never put your hat on the bed 
cuz if your hat's on the bed you might wake up dead 
so don't ya never put ya hat on the bed 
and if you do be sure it’s upside down, son, if you do be sure it’s upside down 
cuz if there’s any doubt, it keeps the luck from runnin’ out 
so if you do be sure it’s upside down 
never throw a match when it's dry, son, never throw a match when it's dry 
don't you never throw a match cuz the grass might catch 
and burn three counties when it's dry 

always keep an edge on yr knife, son, always keep an edge on yr knife 
cuz a good sharp edge is a man's best hedge against the vague uncertainties of life 
yes, a good sharp edge is a man’s best hedge against the uncertain vagaries of life 
but i never could sharpen no knife, like the one who gave the advice 
and I never could sharpen no blade, quite the way he sayed 

yodel-ay 

never sell the old .22, son, never sell the old .22 
cause the old .22’s shot a gopher or two 
so don'tcha never sell the old .22 
aim it to the left, a little low, son, aim it to the left, a little low 
cuz the old iron sight fires high and to the right 
so aim it to the left, a little low 
always tip the glass when you pour son, always tip the glass when you pour 
cuz if you don't tip the glass, well the foam, it comes fast 
and runs from the table to the floor 

always put your horse away dry, son, always put your horse away dry 
cuz a hot, wet horse ain’t healthy of course 
so always put your horse away dry 
and be sure to thaw the bit when it’s cold, son, be sure to thaw the bit when it’s cold 
cuz if you don’t thaw the bit then your pony’s tongue sticks 
to the frozen, metal bridle when it’s cold 
never judge a man by his clothes, son, never judge a man by his clothes 
you gotta look through the dirt and, lord, judge him by his work 
don'tcha never judge a man by his clothes



<font size='+1'><a href='http://www.lyricsmode.com/' target='_blank'>Lyrics[/url] | <a href='http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/corb_lund/' target='_blank'>Corb Lund lyrics[/url] - <a href='http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/corb_lund/always_keep_an_edge_on_your_knife.html' target='_blank'>Always Keep An Edge On Your Knife lyrics[/url]</font>

some of the ones i told  my youngans
  tear up a crowbar in a sand pile...
  ruin a good anvil with a rubber hammer..

LMAO!!!

I need to find out who your youngans are so I can make friends with em! lol.

Goods ones DoubleR! Some I haven't even heard either. lol

 i was alway told this one when i wasa kid
 boy you can mess up a ball bearing with a q-tip(cotton swab)
  shes  cuter than a speckled nose pup
"thats neater than sliced bread"
 
 man i got the misameal cramps

 when the winds out of the east the fish bite the least
 grandpa always said if u keep playing with that fire your babies are going too be born naked
 the only way too catch a pigeon is too put salt on his tail
 

  my wife wants to know how you going to salt the tail without catching them??? LOL

This summer it was so dry I seen a firehydrant chaising a dog,,,,caught 5 catfish in the creek and had to pick the fleas off of um!

That boy right dere is cool as polar bear feet!

My sister's so ugly she got to woop her feet everynight just to make em get in bed with her! (lol) I LOVE MY SISTER!!

Dad say's, Im sweating like my exwife in church!

My dad always told me after I got older,,,,It might take a good man to whoop my @ss,,but it wouldn't take him long!!

MOORRREE!

Daddy always told my friends that would start messing with him that "Everyone has to be doing something when the good lord comes and gets you,,,,so you might as well be messing with me!

ok heres a good one just was told to me
   what does a cow pattie and a woman have in common
 













the older they get the easier they are to pick up
  ;D ;D :laugh:

There are two things that will make a liar out of you, your wife and your dogs.

 Like grandpa always said its like the white part of chicken number 2 its all number 2

awwww it just like cat pop  just cover it up

its so windy i seen a chicken lay the same egg 3 times

Dexter,

  You are sure full of pi** and vinegar tonight....LOL

Robin

90% of the fish are in 10 % of the water

ok one more  and i dont know if it goes here or one the one for the poor guys that the wifeys bit$&  about the dogs
 
 whats the differnce between your  woman bit&*ing on the fron porch and the dog barking on the back porch


 let the dog in and it shuts up :laugh: :laugh: :P

I could chit through a screen door.
He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
That boy could tear up and anvil.
I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole.
It looks like she run through an ugly thicket and hit every branch.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
His elevator doesn't go all the way up.
Don't call him a cowboy until you see him ride.
Do you have a knife on you? Do I have my britches on?
That boy ain't worth the hairs on my a$$.
Its slicker than owl chit.
Sweatin like a whore in church.
Hotter than a whore house on nickel night.
Took to it like a pig to mud.
He couldn't find his a$$ with both hand.
He would loose his head if it wasn't attached.

I been thinking about this thread the past week or so and couldn't remember a thing my elders told me when I was growing until yesterday I took out my dogs and when I hit the half way mark of my loop I sat to rest and it came to me!

" I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"

I guess I was a hardheaded child??  ;D

A few more.

There aint a horse that cant be road and a cowboy that cant be throwed.

Dont squat with your spurs on!

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

My dad used to tell me "Boy you must be hungry...... for a knuckle sandwhich."
and "one fist is iron and the other is steel, if the left one don't get you the right one will."
That boy ain't got a lick of sense.
Always drink upstream from the herd.

They keep comin to me, sorry if I'm repeating some but I can't remember all of whats been posted.
Colder than a witches tit.
Colder than a well diggers crack.
Hotter than a $2 pistol.
Useless as tits on a boar hog.

U chet between a pair of boots just like i do

   TNT   (  TAINT  NUTTIN   TOIT))


    money caint buy happiness    but being broke cant buy chit

Shaking like a dog trying to chit a peach seed.
A strange play on any words my dad always does. He can fit it to anything you are doing and what you should be doing. For example.
Dad- Hey what are you doing?
Me- Just playing in the yard.
Dad- Well play your a$$ over there and split some wood.

"If they'd put your brain in a hummingbird it would fly backwards"

Texas Panhandle weather nature forecasting.......

the number foggy monrings in the month of August was the number snows we would receive that winter

when you see tarantula's crossing the roads, it would be 6 weeks til the first freeze

       

A pig gets fat but a hog goes to slaughter

A man who studies women will never have any money but a man who studies money will always have plenty of women

Tickled as puppy with two peters

Kids so ugly they have to feed him with a sling shot

Good Lord willing and the creek dont rise

Does a fat baby fart

Walk over here you gona limp back

one white foot buy him two white feet try him three white feet be on the sly four white feet pass him by

you got to be a freind to have a freind

crazy as a run over coon

nervous as a cat at a dog fight

my grandpa always compared things to animals

a promiscious woman " walked around with her tail over her back"

the same type of man "prowled around like a tom cat"

when my sister took a job as a nanny he just about had a heart attack because " I thought ya still had to be milkin"!

shes cuter'n a bugs ear

Someone once told me If you barr a hog on a full moon it will bleed out. anyone ever hear that one?

JDJP, yup, same way with cattle.
I think it is because on a full moon they tend to not bed down, thus causing them to not clot and heal.

"just like a pet coon, what ya can't eat, you'll screw up, what ya can't screw up you'll crap on"

My dad is a HUGE Farmer's Almanac believer!!  He always watched the signs when he was getting ready to castrate the stud colts.  He always wanted the sign to be at the knees or lower...less bleeding, swelling, etc.  They always healed up quickly and never had any issues.  We also planted by it as well.  It is a cool read too.

I have also heard that when digging holes during a full moon you will have too much dirt when filling back in and during a new moon, you won't have enough. 

The cattle standing and the fish biting is a true statement.
Also my grandpa told us to de horn on the fool moon for less bleeding.
Also brand on a fool moon cause the brands won't grow.

Ugly: he must sort bobcats for a living

confused: he looks like a cow staring at a new gate

stupid: he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were wrote on the heel

cool: thats just slicker than greased owl sh#t

buck toothed: he could eat corn through a picket fence

something that smells bad: somebody must have turned the outhouse over

when kids ask for something that they cant have: people in hell want icewater too

Ive also heard that when the blackbirds come in the cold weather is coming

My grand father always said it's better to beg forgiveness then ask permission and I use to have a former employer use to tell his nephew that his daddy must of jacked off in a flower pot because he got a blooming f**king idiot.

I think dober3 just won the award for the funniest old school saying. The flower pot one was too funny!!!!!

Ive got a few!


Kickin' never gets you nowhere unless your a mule.

Probably the reason God created woman last was cause he didn't want any advice while creating man.

The bigger your mouth is the better it looks when it's shut.

Love your enemies but keep your gun oiled.

The man that straddles the fence has a sore crotch.

Never let your yearnin's get ahead of your earnin's.

A halo only needs to drop a few inches to become a noose.

Some people follow old wagon tracks while others break new trails.

Ignorance on Fire is better than Knowledge on Ice!

you can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh't.