EAST TEXAS HOG DOGGERS FORUM

Well I just picked up a great new saying from none other than "DOG" The Bounty Hunter so you know its gotta be true. Hehe

"A CUR dog can whip a pitbull in his own yard"  so pull em out of their element. 

LOVE IT.  HAHA Trust tha MULLET!
So tell us what your favorite saying is.

Enjoy.

my all time favorite is "its not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog."

"hold my beer and watch this"

Btw Milo I heard from a little birdie you were trash TALKIN my dogs!
Man they don't need to hear that negative talk. I have a hard enough time gettin em to bay anything.

I heard one the other day I liked. "Tougher than woodpecker lips"

Thats your ass talking cause your head knows better

Your mouth is about to write a check your a$$ can't cash, so You've been warned!

My personal favorite honestly would have to be this one, plain simple n to the point

"haters gonna hate"


"the sun is shining somewhere in texas" -Jason Boland

Don't let your alligator mouth override your hummingbird behind.

the question is... why do haters hate???  ??? ;)

I can tell you about the one I don't like...tells me a lot about the mentality of a co worker.

IF IT AN"T BROKE DON"T FIX IT....what's wrong with making it better? ??? :)

Just thought id add one i herd (bout as worthless as nipples on a pig)

"You can S*^T in one hand and wish in the other and see whitch one fills up first!"

Something Expensive - "That's higher than Giraffe pu$$y".
Hot Outside - "It's hotter than a 3 peckered billy goat in a pasture full of nannies".

Does a bear s@$t in the woods

One that I always thought was funny "its in the last place you would ever look". Well yeah it is why would you continue to look for something once you found it.  My favorite is "let's get it on like donkey kong"

I just heard this one the other day. "If you think you someone important, try bossing around another man's dogs."

The bigger they are.........the HARDER THEY HIT!!!

Ok one more..
" it's not very big around...but it sure is short :laugh:

"Life is tough..get a helmet"

"Good things come in small packages..like dynamite"

"I may be short but I can still knock you down to my level"-my moms fav saying to my brothers

I've always heard this saying like this:

"Useless as nipples on a boar hog"

I CAN SEE YER ALL ROOSTED UP BUT I AIN'T FEELINYER COCKADOODLE DO !

Cant tie a knot , tie alot

Big ones line up little ones pile up

"That dog will hunt" my uncle said that about anything good...

Tighter than frog p---y

More efed up than a n's check book

He talks more chit than a japanese radio

And a famous line from Mike "its part of it homeboy"

When someone saids there goin to whip me i will say " they dont know much, but they know better"

Hotter than two foxes f^%$ing in a forrest fire

Couldnt pour piss from a boot if the directions were on the heel

Uglier than the east end of a west bound horse

So drunk he couldnt scratch his a$$ with a fist full of fish hooks

F$$k fight or hold the light

It's all f***ed up like a soup sandwich!!

"just because I said it dont mean U herd  it. , just because U herd it dont mean I said it "

Happy as a fat girl at prom.
$hit threw a screen door
F%% like a run over dog
Let me get you some vinegar, water, and bottle with a straw  so you can douse

f$@&Ed up like a snake in a bush hog
Higher than chicken hawk p$@sy upside down
You might be dumb but you ain't stupid
It's hotter than two rats f$&)&$ in a wool sock
It might be lonely at the top but it's a b$@ch at the bottom

Holding on like a hubcap in the fast lane...

Sweating like a whore in church...

Do work, make chit happen, and never stop moving forward...

What can you do about something you can't do anything about?

If ifs, ands and, buts were candy and nuts then we'd all have a merry Christmas.

OH YES HE CAN, he's dad.

Shakin' like a dog chitting razor blades
Worthless as tits on a boar
Your mind is like a fart in a whirlwind
Red on the head like d*&k on a dog


plenty more...

F$%k up like a fat mans flip flop

" you 're as crazy as a sprayed cockroach"
Shinin' like a diamond in a goat's a$$
Sweatin' like a whore in church
Hotter than a scalded dog's a$$
" Just a c¥nt hair more"

and a variant of a previous one
" You're so stupid, you couldn't pour piss out of a boot, if I ripped the heel off for ya"

Momma didn't raise no b!tch.
I'm out like a fat girl in dodgeball.

"You wernt raised in a barn!"
"shut that door were not trying to a/c the neighborhood"

built FORD tough lol

famous words of pepper lewis "does a hobby horse have a hickory d!ck, of course im in"

  If you don't use your head you should have been born with two a-holes.
      Is that why your so damn ugly?
  About to be too wet to plow.
  Going to clean your plow.
  If you got it flaunt it, if you ain't sit down and shut up!!!

 John Wayne quote: If you don't respect your elders than you better respect your betters.

Well these two go together

"hold my beer watch this"

Depending on how much I've had to drink I have said this a few times after the first fail.

"f()€k it hit it harder"

I like this one by John Osteen...

When you don't know what to do...then do what you know what to do...

you'd loose your head if it wasn't attached-dad said that one all the time
colder then a well diggers a$$
colder then a witches t!t in a brass bra
your about as smart as a t-post
dont squat with your spurs on
drivin like a bat outa Hell

sexier than a bugs titty..............finer than a frogs hair split 4 ways.............

Aint worth a cup full of n** piss!

Going to give my pillow some head

nuttier than squirrel poop.

Make like some geese and get the flock outta here


"the sun is shining somewhere in texas" -Jason Boland

"bad decisions make good stories"

Guy I knew used this one a good bit.
Gotta go talk some s*** with John

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It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission
Better to have it an not need it then need it and not have it

i would rather whittle out a wooden beak and peck chit with the chickens than do that.

she is finer than a dip of garret snuff.

i hate rude behavior in a man i want tolerate it.

life is hard its even harder if your stupid.

"wow out of millions of sperm YOU were the fastest?"
"bullchit filter is full"

Man, to put me on the spot like this I can't think of them all. But I guarantee you I've got a clever line for almost any situation. Some off the top of my head.

I'd be on that like a rat on a Cheeto.
She's got more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Time to make like a fetus, and head out.
Off like a dress on prom night.
Off like a new brides panties.
Colder than a witches titty in a snowmans mouth.
Your killin me smalls.

The best of you ran down your mommas leg

Don't think about it, be about it

Smiling like a jacka$$ eating cactus

Even a blind hog finds an acorn

If your gonna be a bear be a grizzly

Uglier than sheep chit in shallow water

Raining like a cow pi$$ing on a flat rock

Have to pi$$ like a tied up show dog

Only time to talk about whooping a$$ is after youve done it

Shaking like a dog $hitting a peach seed

You look like a calf staring at a new gate

BUFFET...big.ugly.fat.folks.eating.together        SNAFU...situation.normal.all.f$$$ed.up

FUBAR! f'd up beyond all recognition.

check out the turd cutter on her

look at the $hitter on that critter

You couldnt drive a sharp stop in a fat hogs @$$

Your truck wouldnt pull a greasy string out of a hogs @$$

Boy...who you callin boy?  you must call alligators, lizards!

She's a Monet...(good from far, but far from good)

Is a pigs @$$ pork?  (hell yeah)

and a good one i over heard one time, and about fell over laughing...
(while talking about a HOT celeberty, and i cant remember who)

(Guy 1)...boy, i'd eat the peanuts outta her $hit....

(Guy 2)...what?, damn your gross

(Guy 1)...what, you dont like peanuts?

This is a Spanish saying we use,  a rooster will crow in any henhouse!

Can't dodge it ram it

Rather be cummin than stroking ( cummins motors)

Cummins stroke this ( for Chevy duramax)

It's takes a gun to shoot a deer it takes balls to catch a hog

"Expose yourself, and Expose yourself to Gold"
"That's like pointing out a turd in a river of number 2"
When your busy as all get out=> "the tail is wagging the dog right now"
When u see a hot/slutty girl:  "I bet she would lay down like a hot ox"
Kind of like saying lets go or vamanos=> " let's walk this dog and kick this chicken"
"king turd on number 2 mountain"

dodge the father ram the daughter

My 93 year old pops sayings

"slicker than greased owl $hit"

When talking of a calf with scours "he could $hit through a screen and not hang on a wire"

"gonna rain like a cow pissin on a flat rock" or "fixin to come a turd floater"

"harder to find than a diamond in a goats a$$"

"your talking like a man with a paper hole in the butt"

U ever see me fighting a bear u better jump in and help the bear ....................... I am so Fu@king bad if ur on the phone with God and I call better click over and see what I want ..... lol

you gotta a better chance of makin out with a grizzly bear in a phone booth than f&ckin with me.

ive tripped over better lookin b!t#ches then you tryin to find a corner to j%ck off in.

" boy your just like a male dog, if you can't eat it or breed it just piss on it"

U can polish a turd all day long but its still a piece of sh*t!

You cant make chicken salad outa chicken $hit

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You would be better off trying to shove a wet noodle up a lions a$$ then to f$@k with me

IF you play with chit your hands are gonna stink...

You would rather jack off a panther than jump
 on me
I have run over bigger men than u to
o get too a fight

I've been called worse by better

I've jumped over better and jacked off in a corner I was just trying to help you out

Theres ladie present fella's.......

Stay classy ETHD lol


"the sun is shining somewhere in texas" -Jason Boland

Justin I've actually herd that saying more than once  so I guess it kinda fits into the thread

Lol


"the sun is shining somewhere in texas" -Jason Boland

guy callin you a bi*#h-"really is that all you got, at least call me something that I have to go look up"

Last thing I told my ex wife.........." the only thing you were ever good for.......you weren't any good at"

F'd up as a screen door on a submarine!
Bright as a burnt out light bulb!
Lost as a ball in tall weeds!
He's a few bricks shy of a full load!
Ain't the sharpest tool in the shed!
Messed up as a football bat!

We had this on a race car

Co€s in the hen house

Lol now that ain't your normal run o the mill burn, thats a super duper major league type burn!!!!......i bet she's still mad!!!!


"the sun is shining somewhere in texas" -Jason Boland

The older I get, the better I was.
Don't knock it if you ain't tried it.
Crazy as a run over dog.
Hotter than a road lizard.
He dosen't know if hes washing or hanging out.
He's so dumb, he thought Peter Pan was a wash basin in a whore house.
If you can't ride him, hang up and thrill the crowed.

You boys sure you wanna ride this train.

The more hair I lose, the more head I get.

My buddy has one that is : f*'ed like a duck on a chicken truck.

And there is one that references a loose moral girl to a porcupine but I won't go there.

An old man i work with just said " i dont care if that chit hair lips a goat i am gonna do it anyhow" i thought of this thread.

He could talk the horns off a billy goat...the guys at work keep the sayings going lol

Here is mine:
" I bet you arse gets jealous with all that crap coming out your mounth"

i rule the roost at my house ,she just rules the rooster 
 you just soon as french kiss a rattlesnake ,as mess with me
  you can carry a tue in a bucket
  you so drunk you couldnt find you way out of a wet parer sack

id crawl through a feild of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walky talky

Don't worry about the mule, just load the wagon.

An old feller who lived next door when I was young used to say when something suddenly broke on him, "Well #uck me runnin "

"avoid conflict and trouble, for enough of it fetches to a man without his asking, but if you are attacked, smite them hip and thigh.       "I'm mad enough to bib the devil in hell and spoon him coals."

Here are a few

you can't fix stupid

it is what it is

fine as wine

that dog will hunt

you can't guess you gotta know

big as a mouse a hypo pot a mouse

gonna stick that knife up your a$$ and kick the pop rivets out of it

if i am lien  i'm dieing

dam it man

mean as a snake

For a yes answer,

Raggedy Ann got a cotton crotch.

Anthony

His cornbread ain't done.                                               His elevator dont go to the top floor.                                    If its got hair on it I can ride it if its got a beat I can dance to it       

My buddy wanted help with his new girlfriends ex boyfriend that was giving trouble. I asked how big a boy is he.... He responded " aww he ain't but about 5 ft........19 inches tall." wisely I deferred.

A couple I like........"Never argue with an idiot....'cause people that don't know you may not be able to tell the difference".

"An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity."

"Going at it like a belt fed motor."

Said by an old man upon the runaway of a mare mule we were trying to hook to a ground sled...."Hold 'er Newt....she's headin' for the pea patch."