EAST TEXAS HOG DOGGERS FORUM

Just what the title says .. Someone tell me what I'm doing wrong .. She's always invited no matter what I work 40 plus she has everything she ask for but damn me if I go on a day off or go on a week night while she's sleeping anyways,,, why won't she just make this a thing that we do together not a thing that's gunna separate us

If she acts like this now she ain't never going to change. Sounds like she's one of those wives that want's you
home stuck up her butt. If she doesn't want to go do things that you invite her to do then go do your own thing
without her. It goes both ways though. It's very, very, simple, Life is too short to be stuck with someone who
is making you miserable or who is miserable themselves. Are you upset cause she doesn't want to go or is she
upset cause she doesn't want you going? Your very young but you better get all this marriage stuff lined out
pretty quick or you gonna be miserable.

Ask her would she rather have u n the woods at night or n a Bar.

Try to let her know your goin a few days ahead of time idk why but that seems to make all the difference.

Like stated above - would they rather have you in the woods or at a bar?
I told my chick that once and she never fussed about it again.

Even though u invite her n she does not accept. how often do u go? If ur popping smoke every available min ur off, then i could see her getn mad. As jimco said, she may just want u around as much as possible. I guess there aint nothing wrong with her wanting that. If its really an issue, weigh ur option. Its kind of a double edge sword though, u show her the door or let her control u. I was in the same boat, only with fishing n deer huntin. If there was a good chance i could catch a mess of fish or put a deer in freezer, i was on the lake or in the woods. My wife got poed bout it, we argued some but 6yrs later, still married. That goes for my voluntary globe hoping. If i had a chance go to iraq i volunteered, out of the army less than a yr n gone to afghanistan. The past 2 yrs hav been the longest iv been home consecutively since 03 so i guess my wifes use to it, but it has been said a couple times that she pack her stuff n n ill show her the door. We r still married :'(

After  33yrs mine likes me gone  to the woods or gone fishing  lol

After just going through marriage issues. Don't be asking other people for advise. Other people will say I would do this or that they are not the ones married to your wife! Hog hunting is my passion but my wife is my life. This is the order your life needs to be in God,family,work and hog hunting. I know what I'm talking about!!

10-4 on that...and communication and negotiation...find some common ground and try and reach an agreement...

That's what settled my argument lol chase a boar hog or a bar whore her choice

I agree on the communication and negotiation, but I have a close friend who is absolutely miserable because as the original post said his wife has everything she's ever wanted but she pisses and moans when he wants
to spend a little time by his self or a buddy  fishing or hunting. She's been like that since they first married. Fast forward 25 years later and she's still like that. So yes, My advise remains, Life is too short to be miserable all them years or to live with a miserable wife.  The situation will only get worst unless he demands change or one of the two hits the road.

family is number one. That goes both ways. You have to understand that everyone needs "me" time. She needs to understand the same thing. You can not hunt all the time and still keep the family happy. I use to always hunt and fish. I have had to slow down due to family. I am ok with that. My wife understands that I love to be outside hunting. She tells me that I need to go more then I ask what we have planned that weekend. Three parts to a relationship. You,her and the relationship.
  It isnt going to get better on its own. Talk it out.

Your buddy has been married 25 years that's awesome good thing he didn't listen to other people's advice. My advise is never listen to advise from anyone other than God. You married her for better or worse.

sounds like she is narrow minded and selfish...he should make the effort to help her change because you are right...life is too short to put up with that bull crap...

Does she like to hog hunt? My wife doesn't. She thinks it stupid. Here's the problem with advice the people that are giving it only have your side of the story. Guys don't be saying negative things about his wife you don't know her or their situation. I have been through 9 months of hell on earth because I was stupid. I worked all the time and when I was not working I went hunting. My wife felt like I didn't like or love her anymore. I'm telling you it's not good to listen to others advice unless they are telling you to pray with your wife and fix whatever is wrong. If you don't want to fix it then that's fine too but remember like I said you married her for better or worse. Here's a question does hog hunting make you happy enough to lose your wife?

He came on here looking for answers. I answered based on the info he gave and I looked at his profile and seen he was only  25 yrs.old. If he doesn't like the way things are going, or she doesn't like the way things are going, they better get it lined out quick because I'm gonna say it one LAST time, life is too short to spend it being miserable or spend it with a miserable person.

No it's not awesome. All his friends and family gave him advise and he chose to ignore it. His life consist of going to work, coming home, and being stuck up her butt. He admitted to me he is miserable. so no it is
NOT awesome, It is quite sad. And far as not listening to advise from anyone other than God, well I respectfully
disagree with that. There is nothing wrong with taking advise from family and friends.

I understand he's 25, I understand he came here looking for advise. I am 33 and been married going 16 years. I agree that he needs to get things lined out and life is to short. I also know for a fact that listening to others about his issues is NOT a good idea! You gave your advise and I'm giving mine. I am still trying to fix my marriage because I was stupid. I just hate for anyone to make my mistakes. That's all I'm saying.

hogdogger98, for somebody who says not to listen to other peoples advise, u sure do like throwing ur advise around for him to follow. u think ur the only person on this site or in the world that has had marital issues? I been married 3 times nd im only 34. I don't put up with a mouthy woman and those that are described in the original post. the woman I got now, I have minute problems with her. like jimco said, life is short, live it the best u can, and if ur miserable, then u mite need to get rid of her or live like the other guy, 25 yrs of misery.

The key is he made his bed and he's still married marriage vows say for better or worse right?

I listened to others advice and I know where it got me. I'm going to respectfully get out of this conversation. I really hope he gets things figured out. FYI I was miserable when I was 25 too but made it work and will make it work. Y'all have an awesome day I'm taking my family to the zoo.

I ain't even married but X2 lol

   had several wives , had them gripe and moan  about dogs and chickens . so you want to make the marriage work and you get rid of the dogs and chickens to your buddies to hold on to for you , guess what she's still as miserable as ever and now so are you   lol  . not to make the ladies mad but women don't fall in love with whom a man is they fall in love with what they think they can turn that man into  . been single now for 20 years and the last wife was a veterinary tech and new dang good and well who I was and what I lived for  . just gotta do whatever  YOU THINK  is right and try to live with it  . .  an old man told me once that the best advice he could give me was to not take any advice from anybody  . words I live by today ,  this is your life and your situation  FIGURE IT OUT .

X3. Put God first and everything will work out.

woman are very simple creatures. If shes otherwise a good woman, I wouldn't let her go over this. I had a similar sitiation a few years back. I will give you this advice. the main job of a husband Biblicaly is to sanctify his wife. That means to make holy.
5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.         If you are a believer in christ, think of how he deals with his children. always firm in his stance,never gives in when we are wrong( firm not angry),always looking out for our good, never selfish, supply's protection and provides for us emotionally and physically. He corrects us but with a purpose, never out of anger or desire to dominate. to put it simply I don't think you have to give in when your mate is clearly wrong but I would carefully examine the way you act towards her and if theirs a sore spot on your conscious, I would quickly change that behavior. A woman can change a man (maybe)! and a man can change his wife but only by steady firm wise steering of her over time. She has to know you love her above all else(thats the most important)! unfortunately for most women that means spending lots of time doing honey does and such. A woman loves for a man to work for her on her little projects and do little sweet chores and other things I don't care about it. If shes a good woman other wise I will practically garuntee you this is whats bothering her not the hunting.Little girls grow up dreaming of a man thats their very own and will do things for them no one else will. Example:My wife always wants me to build her furniture. If I don't do it she will after a period of time become disgruntled. I don 't have to do every project just enough to let her know I'm willing to give her apiece of myself and when I am fair with her with my time. I'm not her slave I get to hunt and she gets to be proud of her man. You will get nowhere with your wife if she starts losing respect for you.once it's gone shes gone more than likley. Most marriages that end in divorce could be saved If the folks involved would take a long hard look at themselves and be painfully honest with them self about what they really are. It hurts but will sure help in the long run. Long answer but I hope it helps.I guarantee you hunting isn't the problem you got underlying issues that need dealt with.

Everything in life has to have a balance. Work, home life (family) and even recreation. Hog hunting can be an addiction. She may feel neglected. Spend a little time with her and then hunt. It's too hot to hunt much right now anyway.

a michael pearl sermon titled:only men. changed my marriage completely it's 6.95 and im pretty sure it's in  their archives for free @ no greater joy.com

JagdTank...you almost made me cry...nicely put...   :'(  :)

another analogy is using the way christ relates to the curch. changing the parts where it speaks of christ. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That you might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

27 That you might present her to yourself a glorious wife, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that she should be holy and without blemish.   If your wife is going to be the perfect wife to a large extent it's going to be because your wise leadership made her that way.

I guess I got lucky. Been with my husband for going on 4 years now. Dogs were what actually brought us together, lol, so our world consists of our kids, our dogs, our reptiles, and hunting! It helps in a MAJOR way to have the similar passions. All too often I have seen couples in a constant state of dismay due to the fact that one half has one big hobby/passion that the other half completely despises. I've found myself scratching my head at times wondering how some of these couples got together to begin with, lol. Now I know we are all our own person....not saying that couples have to have the exact same interests to work out, but it at least helps a lot when the other half can at least TOLERATE their other halves biggest passions in life! Makes life so much easier.

OP since you seemed to be seeking advice (take it all with a grain of salt please, lol), maybe you could work up some kind of compromise with her? See if you can designate one night a week as a 'date night' with her where she gets to pick what y'all do. Believe me, we love that stuff! Then you can designate specific times for you to go hunt. Believe me, that one night a week that is her 'special' night can make a huge
difference!

For everytime you go hunting you watch the kids for her. I take my kids with me so my wife can relax. I may not take them all but she is happy for some relief. Plus my kids love to get out and have some fun.

To many people get married before they know who they are and what they want. If u don't truly know yourself u can't possibly find the right person to compliment ur life and u theirs.

    BINGO!!!   Hit the nail smack on the head.

This is what I was going to suggest. You need a womans advise & opinion.  We dont think like women so if you are having marital problems, I would try to get more of the women viewers on here to chime in.

Well hot damn, sound like I'll be that old lady with a bunch of hog dogs! Ain't nobody got time for that drama ;)

Just treat her like a thoroughbred and she will never be a Nag!!!!

I like that idea. Keep her busy in the kitchen n cleaning house all day n she will b tired to argue.  ;D

im on my 3rd wife the first to acted kinda like that, so I culled them. I do what I want and she does the same, and she carries a feed bucket good to. life to short to fight and be unhappy.

you have to give and take, but i will say this if you give in now on this later on down the road it will be something else she doesnt like, i was always told when you start dating someone dont take them everywhere you go or they will expect this all the time, and dont ever start doing something you dont want to continue like washing clothes if you ever start washing your own clothes even just one time they will want you to continue to do so, i havent been married long a few months but mine knows im going hunting just about every tuesday and thursday night and every saturday and sunday so she knows not to make us any plans when its hunting season. you only live one time you never know for how long so you need to try to enjoy the majority of it.

wisdom spoken here. in a relationship its not about you...thats for a single dude. its all about compromise and compassion. with out either you will be miserable. but I have had lots of women,relationships,whathave you, but my wife is my life partner. is she still a bitch. yes. would I give up something I enjoy. yes. so would she. were in it for the longhaul...

from me.....who else. tapatalk

If you have not drove a wife to divorce or drove a girlfriend out the door.....then you are not hunting hard enough!

Like that comment very much

That's true.   Lol

;D

Not to be an ass in any way BUT if you love her and want to make it work nut up and do what you need to as a man and husband..... pigs arent going anywhere.....get your personal life straight and make the needed sacrifices if its worth it to you.....thats the only advise i can give you.....

women are a dime a dozen, found only 2 that were worth 2 cents

Thank you all for the advise, very good stuff. I will be putting in a 100% towards our marriage, just like I said the day we got married, but I'm also going to keep hunting and taking care of dogs like I said I would before I got married. I have made it a point to not let my hobby over weight my relasionship. But at the same time I'm not giving it up because she has gotten bored with it and is taking new interest in life. There was once a time she enjoyed tagging along with me and no longer does. And that's fine. A Little separate activity sometimes is healthy. My point to her though is if I'm going to own them I have to hunt them. I will have to make time and balance it all out just like a couple of you had mention. I hope it all works out.    Well enough marriage drama I got on this forum to talking hunting and dogs ! Lol. Thank ya all

wifes suck girlfriends f### and pups are get better.. worken for me!  if the girl dont like hunting shes not welcome to stay...lol

You have balance work family and huntin.

Very good points by a lot of guys, and I'm going to give an opinion not advice. I have applied some of the tactics I use in everyday life from work to marriage. I do investigations for a living and not criminal ones when someone gets hurt in my profession I'm the  one doing the root cause analysis to change things like corrective actions and policies and procedures to stop or better prevent it from happening again. Most of the time and I'm mean 90% of the time what ends up as the root cause is the lack of communication, from not wearing there protective equipment or not following the right procedures why they are not doing this because no one told them to, or they didn't know the procedure because they weren't taught too. So back to the marriage part if you come in from work or hunting and she is in a pissy mood and you look at her and walk away and go too bed the situation doesn't get better it either stays the same or gets worse. But if you give her five minutes to explain her self and truthfully listen, even if its because she broke a nail and you honestly don't give a flying F*^¥, just listen COMMUNICATE. Don't let it get you or her down, just talk about something you both might enjoy talking about to change the subject, hopefully change the mood cause if MOMMA is pissed everybody is that, is why this thread was started!!!!!

You must work in the oilfield

I been with my wife 8 years only married a few months but 8 years together , when we first got together I was hunting an fishing an rodeoinh before you came along , I'm not gonna stop cause you want me to so if you wanna stay then you can if you wanna go that's fine too,
I stay out all night hunting an fishing an she doesn't complain because she knows I was out doing what I said an I will be home when I'm done she's always welcome to come if she wants sometimes she does ,

We split up one time for a day or to she got mad about something an thought she was gonna get me to change I told her if you change your mind you know where I will be ... Few days later she came back an said she just thought she wanted to change lol

Alot of it has to do with trust I think , she likes to dance an me not so much so sometimes her an her friends go out to bar to dance fine with me dance with who ever she wants saves me from having too lol
Plus I trust her an I know she gonna be home

Don't be sorry in a few years that you didn't hunt more while you were stuck up her butt
Trust me if she gonna leave you over hunting ......she was gonna leave you sooner or later over sonething so might as well send her packing if she gonna leave over something simple like that

YEAAAAAAAA BUDDY!!!!!!

I will tell you things got hot between me and my wife and not in a good way. She said the dogs and hunting were the problem. I told her that I loved her and I would go shoot every dog if that would make her happy. If it would make her happy I would not have married her. Of course she did not want me to shoot the dogs. But It got us talking and let her know that I was serious about my marriage. I am not good at the sit down girl talking but this is what I do now and my wife is much happier. When she is talking and I just repeat back so you are saying ... I do not try to figure anything out at all. I just repeat back what she says. Most of the time she says I am got it and some times she tells me I got it wrong but she knows I am listening. Now to be honest I could care less about most of it but it is important for wives to know thier husbands listen. Plus I do listen so I can repeat back what she is saying. She can talk and talk then I repeat back what she was saying with a sentence. Life is much better now. It is amazing what just listening does.

Well goodluck in the future with everything. Same thing almost happened to me until she ended up wanting to go and then we had to tie everything up to bring out the woods

i can feel your pain, my first wife and i had that problem too. it hard to say . i got my way

There is a lot of opinions for sure , you and your wife get into church if you haven't already , if you have a smart phone download some sermons on family  ( pod cast), marriage is a decision , your not always gonna feel like loving her , there will be times you feel like choking her out LOL , find out what the bible says about marriage and family that is the most important opinion anyway , it will help you and your wife , if god is for you who can be against you , COTM has some good pod cast sermons on this subject , he's in Tulsa okla. but was from Texas , raised in Texas , Willie gorge , or gospel bill back in the day , marriage is work , no doubt , but with god he will walk you and your wife threw and you both will be better because of the learning , I wish you and your wife the best and if you need anything else you just pm me , GOD IS GOOD

I agree a lot with what Mrs Louisiana said! I don't know your story OR hers and she may have a legitimate argument, I just don't know, only you and her do. If she's not the type to get out in the woods then it is hard for me to understand what y'all do spend time together and bond, but that's just me. My guess is if she's always invited but she never goes, she was like that before y'all tied the knot. So if its nothing new, then my question would be why is this all of the sudden going to tear the two of you apart? It may be stemming from something else in your marriage, y'all may just have to sit down and have a talk about what all underlying issues there are IF there are any at all.

And gah dang!!! dont like to see so many miserable ppl out there!!! marriage isnt THAT bad!! ;)

Poor Jared, I don't like it when goes w out me bc those are my dogs too, and I want to be in on the action!!!! I guess it's kind of opposite for us. Lol!!!!!