Old School Logic & sayings

I could chit through a screen door.
He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
That boy could tear up and anvil.
I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole.
It looks like she run through an ugly thicket and hit every branch.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
His elevator doesn't go all the way up.
Don't call him a cowboy until you see him ride.
Do you have a knife on you? Do I have my britches on?
That boy ain't worth the hairs on my a$$.
Its slicker than owl chit.
Sweatin like a whore in church.
Hotter than a whore house on nickel night.
Took to it like a pig to mud.
He couldn't find his a$$ with both hand.
He would loose his head if it wasn't attached.