Too Funny "Texas Declares War"

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said.

"This is Archie, down here at Joes Crab Shack, Houston Texas, I am
callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is
myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the
whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men
in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war
is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm
tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my
army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Obama, the
war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up
an' modified Harold's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must
tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter
planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-
to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my
army to TWO MILLION!"

"Oh Lord," said Archie, "l'll have to call you back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I
am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here
war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a
long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just
no way we can feed two million prisoners.."

TEXAS CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN