More Dog Humor

[grittydog]

ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.

     A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 with monthly payments of $560.00. He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin ..
It's mid-winter, and of course all of the lakes are frozen.
These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR
They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on.
 
Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce.                                                                                              So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse.
 
Our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action:
       they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust,
       they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.
 
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...?
Let's talk about the dog:
            A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner.
            You guessed it.....The dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse....just as it hits the ice.
 
The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop.
The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.
One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots at the dog.

The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.
 
The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on.
Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane!!!!!!
 
The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.
 
The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear end...he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.
 
Then KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
 
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with 'I can't believe this just happened'
looks on their faces.
 
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make
the first of those $560.00 a month payments.
 
The dog is okay....doing fine.
 
And to think you thought all Rednecks lived in the South
 

[goose]

ah come on gota give us rednecks a little more credit....i mean we would have at least put the dog on a leash first before we threw the dynamite

[hogdoggintn]

How many rednecks do you know that would drive a Navigator?

[jdt]

true , true  only a dumbass yankee would do something like that ... and then they went and told somebody , stupid stupid stupid !

[Tusk Hog]

  I think thoses 2 yankees moved to Texas to get away from the embrassment. Believe I work with them now! At TDCJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Bar W]

A real redneck wouldve trained the dog to drop off the dynamite where he wanted it and then light the fuse with his cigarette lighter.

[TimmsHogDogs]

WOW talk about DUMB lol next time I bet he will put the dog on a lead, because there will probably be a next time lol

[hogdoggintn]

Is this what sparked all the leash laws?

[Bar M]

rednecks wouldn't be shooting #8 shot duck hunting and i would have a dog to would fetch untill i told him to.

[Purebreedcolt]

Dang bar M ur the only one to catch that I usually use 4 shot lmao

[dub]

The rednecks I know all know about dynamite. Just pull the fuse out. Every redneck knows that dynamite is for fishing not duck hunting Don/t blame some stupid yankee stuff on rednecks. Plus telephones get less attention than dynamite. If you don't know that you don't know fishing.

[dub]

Boudreaux was catching fish when nobody else in the bayou could catch a cold.
The game warden, a fella named Fontenot, came to visit Boudreaux.
They chat it up a bit and Boudreaux agrees to take Fontenot fishing the next morning.
They arrive at the bayou bright and early the next day and unload the boat
Boudreaux navigates out to his fishing hole and reaches under his seat for a cigar box.
He pulls out a stick of dynamite and crimps a cap on the end, Fontenot sees this and jumps up.
Boudreaux, you can't be doing that, it's against the law. Boudreaux calmly lights the fuse and hands it to Fontenot.
Fontenot, he says, are we gonna talk or are we gonna fish?

Justin Wilson