Old School Logic & sayings

[tobyb2007]

I could chit through a screen door.
He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
That boy could tear up and anvil.
I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole.
It looks like she run through an ugly thicket and hit every branch.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
His elevator doesn't go all the way up.
Don't call him a cowboy until you see him ride.
Do you have a knife on you? Do I have my britches on?
That boy ain't worth the hairs on my a$$.
Its slicker than owl chit.
Sweatin like a whore in church.
Hotter than a whore house on nickel night.
Took to it like a pig to mud.
He couldn't find his a$$ with both hand.
He would loose his head if it wasn't attached.

[BigAinaBuilt]

I been thinking about this thread the past week or so and couldn't remember a thing my elders told me when I was growing until yesterday I took out my dogs and when I hit the half way mark of my loop I sat to rest and it came to me!

" I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"

I guess I was a hardheaded child?? 

[BarrNinja]

A few more.

There aint a horse that cant be road and a cowboy that cant be throwed.

Dont squat with your spurs on!

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

[tobyb2007]

My dad used to tell me "Boy you must be hungry...... for a knuckle sandwhich."
and "one fist is iron and the other is steel, if the left one don't get you the right one will."
That boy ain't got a lick of sense.
Always drink upstream from the herd.

[tobyb2007]

They keep comin to me, sorry if I'm repeating some but I can't remember all of whats been posted.
Colder than a witches tit.
Colder than a well diggers crack.
Hotter than a $2 pistol.
Useless as tits on a boar hog.

[hogbuyer]

U chet between a pair of boots just like i do

[DubbleRDawgs]

   TNT   (  TAINT  NUTTIN   TOIT))


    money caint buy happiness    but being broke cant buy chit

[Skrag]

Shaking like a dog trying to chit a peach seed.
A strange play on any words my dad always does. He can fit it to anything you are doing and what you should be doing. For example.
Dad- Hey what are you doing?
Me- Just playing in the yard.
Dad- Well play your a$$ over there and split some wood.

[lazyjhogdogs]

"If they'd put your brain in a hummingbird it would fly backwards"

[jls41]

Texas Panhandle weather nature forecasting.......

the number foggy monrings in the month of August was the number snows we would receive that winter

when you see tarantula's crossing the roads, it would be 6 weeks til the first freeze

[Baypenbubba]

       

A pig gets fat but a hog goes to slaughter

A man who studies women will never have any money but a man who studies money will always have plenty of women

Tickled as puppy with two peters

Kids so ugly they have to feed him with a sling shot

Good Lord willing and the creek dont rise

Does a fat baby fart

Walk over here you gona limp back

one white foot buy him two white feet try him three white feet be on the sly four white feet pass him by

you got to be a freind to have a freind

crazy as a run over coon

nervous as a cat at a dog fight

[catchrcall]

my grandpa always compared things to animals

a promiscious woman " walked around with her tail over her back"

the same type of man "prowled around like a tom cat"

when my sister took a job as a nanny he just about had a heart attack because " I thought ya still had to be milkin"!

[JDJP]

shes cuter'n a bugs ear

Someone once told me If you barr a hog on a full moon it will bleed out. anyone ever hear that one?

[slimpickins]

JDJP, yup, same way with cattle.
I think it is because on a full moon they tend to not bed down, thus causing them to not clot and heal.

[catchrcall]

"just like a pet coon, what ya can't eat, you'll screw up, what ya can't screw up you'll crap on"

[jls41]

My dad is a HUGE Farmer's Almanac believer!!  He always watched the signs when he was getting ready to castrate the stud colts.  He always wanted the sign to be at the knees or lower...less bleeding, swelling, etc.  They always healed up quickly and never had any issues.  We also planted by it as well.  It is a cool read too.

I have also heard that when digging holes during a full moon you will have too much dirt when filling back in and during a new moon, you won't have enough. 

[Lyssy]

The cattle standing and the fish biting is a true statement.
Also my grandpa told us to de horn on the fool moon for less bleeding.
Also brand on a fool moon cause the brands won't grow.

[djhogdogger]

Ugly: he must sort bobcats for a living

confused: he looks like a cow staring at a new gate

stupid: he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were wrote on the heel

cool: thats just slicker than greased owl sh#t

buck toothed: he could eat corn through a picket fence

something that smells bad: somebody must have turned the outhouse over

when kids ask for something that they cant have: people in hell want icewater too

[lazyjhogdogs]

Ive also heard that when the blackbirds come in the cold weather is coming

[Dober3]

My grand father always said it's better to beg forgiveness then ask permission and I use to have a former employer use to tell his nephew that his daddy must of jacked off in a flower pot because he got a blooming f**king idiot.