A Confession

[aladatrot]

I stole a duck. He is a white duck and belongs to the same people down the road who let their boxer run loose and get into people's trash. The dog steals shoes off peoples' back porches, and most recently went into another neighbor's back door when she left it open inside her garage. The duck never did any damage other than almost causing wrecks when it hangs out in the middle of the street. I almost hit it myself and had to lock up the brakes on the dually so as not to hit it when it walked casually out in front of me. The poor thing lives in the drainage ditch in front of these people's house. After dealing with this for a year or better, I grabbed it when it was walking in the street. I stole it and I took it home. It is now safely behind a fence in a big yard with a kiddie pool and two female ducks. I figure the trade off of not being squashed on the road or carried off by dogs offsets the fact that he is not actually free to roam. That was better than a week ago, and the original owners have no idea the duck is even missing.

That was the first confession. I needed to make that point known so that my second confession will make sense.

Last night about 3am, all the dogs went nuts. Even my Aussies were at the fence barking ferociously. I went out onto the deck to shush them all, and I saw what looks like someone bent over (like ducking down) running down the neighbor's drive toward their barn fence. I heard quick footsteps on the asphalt to back up what I saw. My dogs were going flipping crazy. Thinking it was someone out to steal back the duck, I ran back into the house and grabbed Daisy - the Red Rider BB Gun that I keep next to the bed. There are a couple .22s there as well, but I felt like this was a high school kid, so no need for deadly force.

Anyway, I head over to the neighbor's drive and my dogs barked at me when I came up. They hushed when they saw it was me, and I continued up the drive toward the barn. The neighbor's horse and donkey were running about, obviously spooked. I continued all the way up the drive, but didn't see anyone. I checked on the ducks, and they were all there - even the white one. Figuring whoever it was got spooked by my dogs, I went back in the house. Of course, Chris had waken up by this time and was wondering what on earth I was doing. He thought I had grabbed the .22 rifle on my way out the door. I explained that I saw someone run up the neighbor's driveway and that I went to look for them but must have just scared them off.

This morning at 5am, the neighbor called. The phone was breaking up, so I got up and went over to his house. Apparently, what I thought was someone bent over running up his driveway was an escaped pony. I felt really stupid. In my own defense, it was a black and white painted pony, and you couldn't see his head or his tail because it was dark. I was running around in the middle of the night with a BB gun hunting up a pony intruder who I thought was stealing my stolen duck!

Cheers
M

[Texas_Cur]

Mandi you are one hell of a watch dog.

I wonder how many BBs it would take to bring down a horse??? 

[brw7979]

Great story. Got a good laugh out of that.

[Circle C]

It's a thrill a minute being around Mandi

I asked her if she was going to beat them up with her BB gun or something....   You won't find me reaching for a BB gun,  I sleep next to a 12 gauge and a 357

[aladatrot]

I need to mention something about the duck. If his owners want him back, they can ask for him back and they can have him (along with a suggestion to keep him out of the street). He is in no way hidden, he is visible from the road. I just got so sick of risking my life to get him out of the road when vehicles were heading his way after dark. I also got sick of having to dodge him myself.

I don't want anyone to think that I am hiding him and that I wouldn't give him back to his owners if they ever noticed he was gone. So far, the conversation with his owner has been that they don't know he's gone and that they think he is in their culvert.

Cheers
M

[shawn]

thats a funny story, chasing the pony with a bb gun, sounds like something id do.

[jls41]

Awesome story!!!  At least you kept your wits about you and didn't shoot!!  

Oh heck Mandi - no worries.  Easter time is upon us and just about every feed store in the state of Texas has baby ducks for sale.  It won't be anything to replace their wayward duck for a new one and then you can steal and confess again in another year!!    I would have done the same thing!! 

[aladatrot]

Ha! He is the wrong kind of duck for me anyway. I go out of my way so as not to keep just random waterfowl. I keep purebred rouen ducks on my ponds (rouens look just like wild mallards) and indian runner ducks in my pen. Now I have indian runner eggs fertilized by a Pekin duck!

You know those easter ducks are typically pekin drakes (meat ducks) and that the easter chicks are just roosters.
Cheers
M

[catchrcall]

might help you with your duck problem

Ingredients:
1 Whole Duck
1/2 (14 oz) Bag Seasoned Croutons
2 Tablespoons Butter
1/2 Cup Celery, diced
1/2 Cup Onion, diced
1/2 Cup Red Apple, for cooking, diced
1 1/2 Cup Chicken Broth or Duck Broth
1 Tablespoon (optional) Fresh Sage, chiffonade
Directions:
1. Follow the package directions for roasting one whole Maple Leaf Farms duck.
2. Saute celery and onion in butter until onion is translucent. Add apple and saute for one minute more. Add chicken broth and return to a boil. Remove from heat.
3. Add croutons, cover and let set for 5 minutes. Bake in a 350°F oven for 20-30 minutes.
4. Place roasted duck on large platter and surround with dressing. Garnish with fresh sage.

[djhogdogger]

  Mandi, that is hillarious!!!!

[Dexter]

Mandi
  your killin me  i aint laughed so hard in a long long time
      thank you for sharing
      Dexter

[jls41]

Looks like Lance fixed you up Mandi!!!  You need to break out the cast iron dutch ovens and light a fire!!  And you can use those crossbred eggs for breakfast in the morning!!

Problem solved!!

[aladatrot]

Aww, I can't eat him. He is a very personable duck. I will just keep him as long as he needs a safe place to live.

Thanks for the recipe though. I may raise up some crossbred ducklings later on and see how they taste!
Cheers
M

[jls41]

I knew it!!! 
 

[UNDERDOG]

Aww, I can't eat him.

Not even w/ QUAKKERS......

[aladatrot]

Not even with quackers.

Cheers
M

[slimpickins]

Well good for you. I'd be eatin dutch oven duck while I explained why Jo Lynne and the kids were dragging off a pony with a bunch of vent hole, as I explained the entirety of the situation to the county deputies. Good thing we ain't got neighbors! 

[catchrcall]

shoulda just shot him.  I can't stand a thievin horse.   

[jls41]

I wonder if the duck and the pony weren't in on it all together? 

[BarrNinja]

Lady you crack me up! You are the only woman I know that will go outside in the middle of the night to take on a prowler wile your husband continues to sleep seeming undisturbed back in bed.