DangerZone
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« on: August 03, 2011, 11:10:18 am » |
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SOCIALISM You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says
the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market
it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of
Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
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From squeal to meal with one good stick! Hunting is not a sport, It's a way of life...Danny Ward
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firemedic
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« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2011, 11:37:36 am » |
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Think I'm gonna move to Australia, and take my cows with me.
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It's easy to judge the character of a man,....by how he treats those that can do nothing for him.
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Reuben
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« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2011, 12:16:50 pm » |
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that was really good...I think I will short some ENRON stock...
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Training dogs is not about quantity, it's more about timing, the right situations, and proper guidance...After that it's up to the dog... A hunting dog is born not made...
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Dhughes
Bay Dog
Offline
Posts: 71
Western Oklahoma
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« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2011, 12:21:39 pm » |
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Think I'm gonna move to Australia, and take my cows with me. Me too!
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wilton
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« Reply #5 on: August 03, 2011, 12:54:27 pm » |
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"Stand for something or fall for anything" Case Catahoulas; blood tracking; NALC certified breeder, member ACA & COBRA
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Randy_P
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« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2011, 02:44:00 pm » |
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Good stuff right there.
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jeskyn
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« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2011, 08:28:47 pm » |
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One of the few long ones that was worth reading all the way through
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