I believe Slimpickens has the best " I was chased by a MAD COW in the dark story", I am sure you remember Cody, at Clairmont. I would tell it but you tell it better
Sorry it took me so long, just now saw the thread.
Ok, so early on in my short lived cowboy career, we're gathering and working cattle on this place, good horses and good dogs.
We still had all 3 of the original Catahoula pups that I drove to Monroe, LA to pick up and most of our dogs go back to one, or a pair of littermates.
We gathered cattle in the daylight and hunted the same country at night with the very same dogs, day in and day out on this place.
We'd been riding since before daylight and it was dark when we unsaddled. Ate a quick bite and let the dogs take a nap.
Load dogs in the truck and start out across the ranch.
Get to a good spot with some sign, and we know that about 1/2 mile ahead is the hill top feed site the ranch uses and the hogs have been seen there a lot, picking up the left overs.
We dump the box and have about 4 grown dogs and about that many barely started pups, towards the hilltop we drive with the dogs working out front.
Well, wouldn't you know it, the 4 grown dogs ease right through the cows and calves finishing up the daily feed pile.
You see, these older dogs had figured out that in the daylight they were to find, bay and catch cattle, and if it was dark they somehow understood that they were to leave the cattle and find and bay and catch the hogs.
How, I'll never know but they knew.
Now, as you can imagine, it dawns on me that these pups have just been used for a week or two on cattle, in the daylight and maybe once or twice, at most, at night we'd sent them to a bay.
So, in conforming to thier knowledge, these pups single out a nice 400 pound calf and start giving him hell.
Most of the other cattle sneak off in the cover of darkness with thier calves in tow.
Well this little booger had the best dang mama on the ranch because she was not leaving him, and was doing what she was supposed to, stomping, kicking, head plowing pups but they just kept coming back.
I think I even saw that b***h bite a pup and sling it out.
I bail out of the truck and Paul runs the spotlight, from the safety of the truck.
I'm not sure how we came to that arrangement.
but it is what it is.
I run in kicking pups for trashing and hollering for them to get out and roll on, Paul does a fine job of illuminating the situation, from inside the truck.
My hollering and carrying on scares the mama cow off.........momentarily.
The pups roll out and I'm impressed, that although they "trashed" if you will, they called out without too much coaxing and persuasion.
Paul, being the good buddy and expert spotlight handler that he is, lowers the spotlight to my feet as I start towards the truck.
At that moment, I become relatively aware that there is a 2200 pound mama cow barreling down on me from somewhere in the darkness.
She is less than pleased and is travelling at a speed which I'm still not sure, but I think I head the sonic boom, right before I saw her nose enter the spotlight beam.
She has come from behimd the truck, you know, one of those "circle back for the kill sweeps."
About the time I break for it I head "Heads up!" As the spotlight shines on her and her cloud of dust, then back to me, as I look at Paul to se what he's fussing about.
I'm blind, but can hear the wreck coming, over the clattering diesel motor.
I turn and break for it, away from the truck, angry mama, and Paul, still doing a great job with the spotlight from the truck.
Now, I'm running in the dark, all out, and 90% blind.
I can see just enough to know that Paul is attempting to help, by keeping me in the center of the spotlight, so I can see where I'm running.
As you can imagine, all that black cow can see in the darkness is me, in my worn out, nearly white, faded Carhardt jacket.
I might as well had been wrapped in 10,000 strands of Christmas lights for her.
I'm running away, zigging and zagging, all I can see in front of me is the cows shadow, and occationally mine when I run back and forth, in and out of her shadow.
I can hear Paul, coaching me from the truck, on wether to zig or zag, all the while I'm screaming for him to kill the light, thinking that's my only chance to disappear.
As all of you dog men know, sounds like what I describe, tend to Draw 4 young pups to the sounds.
They sometimes forget that they have just been called off and sent on.
The pups arrive and "help" if you want to call it that.
Finally, as I can hear pups yelping and I'm completely out of juice, the spotlight goes out.
At this point I remembered a small mesquite bush, 4 feet tall, as I knew I was going to have to hurdle it.
Now I can't see it, I crash into it and crumple into a pile, hoping she, at best, plows me and looses me in the dark if I lay still.
Plan works, she plows the mesquite, with me balled up inside, wallers on me momentarily, then focuses on the pups and away they go.
Laying there, in the cold darkness I do a self check, yup, the boys are still there and nothing hurts too bad.
The spotlight comes on and is shaking so bad it looks like a strobelight in a disco club. Well, theres a little simpathy, he's so scred for me he's shaking, wrong!
I can hear Paul laughing histerically, inside the truck, as I upright myself, he says "shoulda zig'd that last time you zag'd!"
She put up enough fight that the pups gave up and came back on thier own.
I was ready to kill him, but he was fishing around in the cooler and handed me a beer, so all was good.
I later realized I'd lost a new D-cell maglight and my hat, somewhere in the darkness.
Guess I got out pretty cheap.
